The Sociest Socs in all of Tulsa
by Lampfish
Summary: What exactly happened back in Tulsa while Johnny and Ponyboy were away in Windrixville? What did the rest of the gang do to pass time? The short answer, they go undercover to dig up dirt on the Socs. For the long answer, you'll have to read this beautifully written fanfiction, by us at Lampfish Inc; your #1 source for whatever the hell we do here!
1. Chapter 1

It is a normal day at the Curtis household; with it being three days since Johnny and Ponyboy mysteriously disappeared. Darry was reading the newspaper on the couch, while Sodapop and Steve were playing rock paper scissors in the kitchen. But one of the gang members wasn't sitting in his usual spot, in front of the TV with chocolate cake and a beer: Two-bit Matthews. The other boys didn't seem to notice, though. Two-Bit was always going around stealing lamps for some reason. Just last week, he stole three lamps from the Curtis house.  
Just Then, Keith Two-bit burst through the door wearing a blue, madras shirt and holding a large fancy looking lamp. "Hey y'all look at this sweet-ass lamp I just –" Before he could finish his sentence, he was met with horrified screams coming from the three boys, pointing at the shirt.  
Darry jumped up throwing his newspaper onto the floor. "JESUS CHRIST TWO-BIT WHAT THE DIGGITY-DOG ARE YOU WEARIN' THAT ABOMINATION FOR?!"

"Are you becomin' a Soc now too? I thought Dally would be the only one we lost to 'em!" Steve yelled, standing up as well. Two-Bit suddenly had a flash back to the day before. Dally had walked into the house looking mighty proud of himself. He wore a madras sweater-vest over top of a white dress shirt. His hair was so neat that not a single hair stuck out. Dally had told them he was joining the socs, and called Two-bit Keith, making him punch the ex-greaser right in the nose.  
"What!? Oh hell naw! Calm down I got this thing from Walmart for like a dollar!" The others looked at each other, sort of embarrassed, and settled down as Two-bit set the lamp down in the oven.  
But then, Soda got an idea. "WAIT!" He screeched, almost knocking over the table he was sitting at. "If that shirt can fool us into thinking two-bit's a soc, then its oughtta fool the real socs too!" He continued wide-eyed. "I say we buy a whole bunch of them fake madras shirts from Walmart, and sneak into a soc gang!" everybody looked at soda flabbergasted that he said something almost intelligent for once. "What do ya say guys?" Soda asked.  
"I dunno about that Sodapop. I mean if I go off playin' dress up then who'll watch my dog Cupcake? I can't leave him alone!" Steve said, trying to pick up all the things Soda had thrown onto the floor, via the table.  
Darry looked at Steve disappointingly. "Steve Cupcake is imaginary." He rolled his eyes.  
"That don't mean I can just leave him alone in my house! I haven't potty-trained him yet!" Steve threw the stuff back onto the floor in angst. "Yall can go play with the socs, but leave me out of it!" He stormed out of the house, just about knocking over the oven. After he had slammed the door, the gang was quiet for a second, but soon forgot that whole thing happened and went on with discussing their soc-espionage plan.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later Darry, Two-Bit, Sodapop went on a field-trip to Walmart. They strode into the store armed with slotted sunglasses and $20, ready to buy as many knock-off madras shirts they could carry. They left the store with 20 flannel shirts (each), and the security guards chasing after them. But of course they got away, because 1) It was in slow-mo. 2) they're the protagonists in a parody fic, nothing bad could happen to them.  
As they walked through the door of the Curtis house, they saw The Shepard siblings, Tim, Curly and that one that's in the other book eating all the chocolate cake in the ice-box. Two-bit drops his 20 shirts. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR'RE DOINN'!?:" His voice echoing throughout the house, just about knocking over his lamp, which is still in the oven.  
The Shepards looked at each other, before dropping the cake, running out of any door or window that was closest to them. Nobody gets in between Two and his cake. Once Steve tried to eat the last piece, and he kicked him in the crotch so hard he almost broke his dick. The eighteen-year old dork looked back at the other two boys, and smiled innocently. "Well…uh, let's get on with it, I guess." Soda stuttered.  
It didn't take long for the three to change into their flannel. The real problem was getting their hair into a semi-beatle hairstyle. They all were too proud of their tuff hair to screw it up and look like a beetle.  
After countless hours of sulking with their new haircuts, they finally went down to business. "Alright y'all. There are a few high-ranking soc gangs we could get our spy on at. One, is the Balding Hydro gang. They are easy to infiltrate, but they do a lot of satanic sacrifices involving hair," Darry said in a low voice. The others gasped in fear, grabbing on their hair for dear life. "The second is Choo-Choo the Mook. To be honest I have no gosh-darn idea what the heckle is up with those guys. I think they like trains and cats or somethin' I dunno." Darry leans over the table. "The third and final, is the most high profile soc gang in all of Outsidersville. These guys are hella tuff. It's believed that Bob Sheldon, the kid Johnny and Pony killed, was an ex-member, until there was some sort of disagreement. It'll be tough but worth it. Their name..." He pauses for dramatic affect. "is Animal Crossing," The overly-muscled man finished.  
Two-bit nodded. "I VOTE FOR ANIMAL CROSSING!" He yelled lifting up his new lamp he stole from Walmart. "Same here!" Soda exclaimed between bites of cake.  
Darry slammed his hands onto the table. "Then it's settled! Tomorrow, we infiltrate the soc gang, Animal Crossing!" The three soc impersonators then celebrated.


End file.
